EST. AS A JOKE  ·  SHIPPING ANYWAY

WHATEVER PROVISIONING™

The fully automated provisioning platform for POS fleets. Every customer, every device, every license — one screen. Devices configure themselves. Licensing updates itself. The team said "it'll never work" "whatever." So we named it that.

Provision a device → Why is it called that

No signup. No sales call. Honestly, no product yet. Whatever.

A true story, unfortunately

First they laugh at you.
Then they say "whatever."
Then they build it.

PANEL 01

The Idea

One login. Every customer, product, service and setting. Pick a device, add it to an account — licensing updates, the device downloads its config, done. Full automation.

"guys. hear me out."

PANEL 02

The Laughing

The team found this extremely funny. A whole platform? For provisioning? It became the office joke. There were bits. There were impressions.

"hahaha ok sure"

PANEL 03

The Word

Every mention got the same review: "it's whatever." Said in standups. Said in code review. Said at lunch. The name stuck harder than the laughter.

"...whatever."

PANEL 04

The Plot Twist

The developers are now building it. The joke has a repo. The joke has tickets. The joke passes CI. Nobody is laughing — they're sprinting.

"it's still whatever" — dev, while building it

Live-ish demo

Watch it
not care.

Plug a device in. It finds its customer, pulls its profile, syncs its licenses and configures itself — printers, cash drawer, payments, everything. Zero touching. Maximum whatever.

whatever — ssh backoffice

Capabilities, whatever that means

Everything. Automated.
Obviously.

All the manual work your team does today, done by a machine that has never once complained in a standup.

Zero-touch setup

Plug the device in. Walk away. It downloads its entire life: settings, peripherals, menu, taxes. You do the setup whatever.

One catalog

Every customer, product, service and setting on one screen. Retires the spreadsheet named FINAL_v7_REAL(2).xlsx forever.

License autopilot

Add a device to an account and licensing updates itself. Nobody emails anybody. Nobody forgets. Nobody gets blamed in the group chat.

Fleet-wide config

Change a setting once, every device gets it. Including that one terminal in the basement nobody has physically seen since 2021.

Instant rollback

New config broke the espresso bar? One click and it never happened. History remembers; the customer doesn't have to.

Audit everything

Who changed what, when, on which device — and, spiritually, how hard they shrugged while doing it. Full paper trail.

Verified reviews from the team

Rave reviews.

"It's whatever."

— Senior Developer, day one

"It's whatever."

— Same developer, day 400, actively building it

"I laughed at the idea. The idea is now my sprint."

— Backend Developer

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

Pricing, allegedly

Fair prices.
Printed on receipts.

SHRUG

$0

FOREVER · SOMEHOW

  • Devicesa few
  • Auto-configyes
  • License syncyes
  • Supportvibes
Start shrugging
MOST WHATEVER

WHATEVER PRO

$WHATEVER

PER MONTH · IT'S FINE

  • Devicesthe fleet
  • Auto-configall of it
  • License syncinstant
  • Rollbackone click
  • Supporta human
Take my whatever

ENTERPRISE

CALL US

OR DON'T · WHATEVER

  • Devicesall of them
  • SLAa strong one
  • Onboardingwhite glove
  • Meetingssadly, yes
Book the meeting

SO… WHATEVER?

It started as a joke. The developers are building it anyway. The domain is real, the idea always was — and the devices are going to configure themselves whether the team laughs or not.

Provision everything →